Your Path to Fame

(While eating a snack after school the other day…)

Charlie: I want to tell you something.

Gigi: What?

Charlie: Don’t try to steal my spot light. You’ll fail.

Gigi: What are you talking about?

Charlie: There’s only room in this house for one comedian and that would be me.

Gigi: What?

Charlie: I’m the star of the show. You’re always the sidekick.

Gigi: You don’t kick me in the side. Ever.

Charlie: No. No. No. You don’t get it. I mean you’re the assistant…the other act…the warm-up. I’m the star.

Gigi: I’M always the star!

Charlie: No.

Gigi: Yes.

Charlie: Fine. Do you want me to teach you one joke that you can just learn really well and that will be YOUR one and only joke?

Gigi: No.

Charlie: Why?

Gigi: Those jokes you teach me are not the good ones.

Charlie: Exactly. Because you’re the sidekick.

Gigi: No. I’m the star.

Charlie: You are NOT the star… until I become famous and have left this house.

Gigi: MOM!!! MOM!!!! Charlie says I’m not the star.

Cassie: (from the dining room, toward the kitchen, with a raised voice) You’re BOTH stars.

Charlie: (yelling back) You missed the whole point of this talk, Mom. You don’t even know what we’re talking about.

Cassie: I heard you. I’ve been in the dining room the whole time. (walking into the kitchen) You know, sometimes stardom and celebrity run in families.

Charlie: (annoyed) Whatever.

Cassie: I’ll say this though, there is absolutely no one inside or outside this family like you, Charlie. You are unique.

Charlie: I know it. I’m just warning the five-year-old to stop using my material.

Cassie: She’s just copying you because she thinks you’re so funny. It’s a form of flattery. Right, Gigi?

Gigi: A-c-t-u-a-l-l-y….I’m gonna be famous for singing not joking.

Cassie: See? Different paths toward fame.

Charlie: She can’t even do the “Old Man Voice,” like at all.

Gigi: It hurts my throat to do that.

Cassie: Your voices are very good, Charlie, especially the “Old Man Voice.”

Charlie: Yea. (sauntering out of the kitchen) You know what they say, if you can’t do the voices….well then you’re the sidekick.

Gigi: MOMMY!!!!

(Oy. Being the mother of two famous children is so exhausting.)

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