After scolding Charlie and telling him that the sh*% was going to hit the fan when Dad got home (I caught him treading out onto the roof deck/widow’s walk area off of Max’s bedroom with his 3-year-old sister in tow; there are railings but OMG, it’s the roof!), Charlie says to me: “I’ve been keeping track of all the times you swear and use bad words, Mom. Did you know that? I have a tally for the different swears.”

(Oh f*#, I mean sh*#, I mean crap!)