Cassie: Whoa, whoa. What do you think you are doing?!

(I find Charlie in the kitchen, surrounded by all manner of pots and pans and utensils.)

Charlie: Getting some food.

Cassie: Charlie, you only stopped throwing up an hour ago.

Charlie: I know. I’m starving.

Cassie: I understand. But this is ridiculous. You cannot prepare yourself a four course meal. Why are there pots and pans out? Were you thinking of cooking?

Charlie: Look at me! I’m skin and bones. I need to eat! I was going to cook some eggs.

Cassie: Not so fast, buster. You got to work up to that. We’ll start with some saltines, a little Gatorade, maybe some soup.

Charlie: I’m dying here. Are you kidding me? Saltines?

Cassie: Maybe you can have a dry Eggo waffle. But, no, no, no… I’ll make it for you …because you see, now I will have to sanitize the entire kitchen on top of all the bathroom cleaning I have to do….yet again. You’ve opened all the drawers and cabinets and touched everything. You’ve contaminated the kitchen, Charlie.

Charlie: Well, I’m dying. I was trying to solve the problem for myself because as I said, I’m starving and dying. And dizzy.

Cassie: Go sit down on the couch. I’ll go get your pillow and a blanket. We’ll start with water sips, okay? Don’t you just want to catch a little more shut-eye? No one got much sleep last night with all the Sessions of Sick.

Charlie: I’m full of energy and I’m starving. I don’t need water. I need food.

Cassie: You don’t have any residual nausea?

Charlie: Nope. Not a bit.

Cassie: Huh….I still don’t have my appetite back.

Charlie: Well, no offense, but you’re old.

Cassie: Yes. And exhausted. So just sack out here, watch TV, sip the water and the Gatorade and let me go back to sleep for a little while, okay?

Charlie: One hour. Then I’m eating.

Cassie: Stay out of the kitchen. I mean it.

(I come back an hour later…after what truly was the briefest of naps. Charlie is still in front of the TV but there are Saltine cracker crumbs all around the place and a box of Nilla Wafers is perched on the coffee table.)

Cassie: Nilla Wafers? You ate Nilla Wafers?!

Charlie: Yea. I had four Saltine crackers but what I really wanted was Nillas.

Cassie: Charlie!

Charlie: I’m fine, Mom. Really! I bounce back quickly from sickness. Nothing to worry about. I’m not going to hurl anymore, okay? Now please make me some eggs!