I’ve discovered that Charlie spends a lot of time on his iPad watching something called “Youtube Poop.” This explains a lot.

Cassie: It’s all about poop?

Charlie: God, Mom. No! It’s just hilarious stuff. Shows like “Sponge Bob” where parts have been dubbed in with different words and stuff.

Cassie: What stuff? Like swear words and things that are inappropriate?

Charlie: Not really. Not that I’ve seen…so far.

Cassie: But it could go in that direction?

Charlie: It has the potential, I suppose. But I already know all the swear words from you anyway, so what’s the problem?

Cassie: Nice.

Charlie: The truth hurts.

Cassie: Totally fresh. (Pause) Well I don’t really find it a constructive use of your LIMITED time on the iPad…watching something called “Youtube Poop.”

Charlie: Oh it’s constructive…because it’s completely HILARIOUS. (Charlie goes into a whole bit where Sponge Bob Square Pants and Squidword are saying “spaghetti” repeatedly. It doesn’t seem that funny to me but Charlie is nearly crying from hysteria while re-enacting the scene.)

Cassie: I’m going to have to ask specifically if you’re watching this “Poop” show every time you ask for the iPad. I’ll have to keep closer tabs now that I realize it’s no longer just Minecraft instructional videos you’re viewing.

Charlie: It’s probably not necessary.

Cassie: Oh, I think it is.

Charlie: (sighing) Well then, if you must.

Cassie: More fresh. And now I’ll have to watch this stupid “Poop” business myself to see how offensive it is.

Charlie: You won’t get it. It’s not gonna seem funny to you. You’re the kind of person who gets all worked up just watching “America’s Funniest Home Videos” because you’re so sure the people in the videos are getting injured with concussions or something.

Cassie: I hate that show.

Charlie: My point exactly.

Cassie: It’s not that funny.

Charlie: Actually, it’s very funny. (Pause) Just have Dad check out “Youtube Poop.” It’s right up his alley. He cracks up at “Shaun the Sheep.” He’ll probably love this.

Cassie: That’s a good idea.

Charlie: I know it is. (He goes into a rendition of the promo for “Youtube Poop” in an Italian accent. I can’t help myself and I start to giggle a little. The Italian accent is quite good.) You laughed.

Cassie: It was a little funny.

Charlie: It was “Luigi” from Super Mario Brothers doing the lead in to “Youtube Poop.” (Pause) Mom, do you even know who Luigi is? Or Super Mario Brothers?

Cassie: Yea. I do.

Charlie: Really?

Cassie: Yes.

Charlie: I hope so. I really do.