Down Vests: Not Cool

DSC_0088Charlie: I think I saw two down vests in my closet when I was looking for one of my flannel shirts.

Cassie: Yea? What about it?

Charlie: Down vests are not cool.

Cassie: They are totally cool. It’s a whole style. Uniqlo sells a gazillion vests.

Charlie: Whatever. The ones in my closet are old-fashioned and dorky. Definitely not from Uni-whatever-it’s-called. I have no idea where they’ve come from or why they are housed in my closet.

Cassie: They’re old ones…from Max. One vest is green. Green is a good color on you.

Charlie: Doesn’t matter. I will never be wearing a down vest.

Cassie: Max wore them.

Charlie: I can’t help it if my older brother has some uncool times from his past to get over. That’s his problem.

Cassie: Charlie, these are perfect to wear during those in-between-seasons times.

Charlie: Not really. I’ll just wear my leather coat when we’re “in between seasons.” (makes air quotes to emphasize his use of the phrase)

Cassie: Fine. Who knew Charlie The Kid was so particular about clothes?! It all seems so privileged and kind of snobby. There are probably a lot of little boys on our street who could use these vests.

Charlie: Excellent idea. Please give these vests to them right away. Just don’t say they’re from me. Say they’re from Max.

Cassie: What about that old leather coat that’s getting too small for you? I think I should give that one away too.

Charlie: No. No. No. I’m wearing that one until the bitter end.

Cassie: The bitter end?

Charlie: Yea. Until it can’t possibly fit anymore. I LOVE that jacket. Leather jackets still look cool even if they’re a little tight.

Cassie: Hmmm.

Charlie: Besides, I want to save all my leather jackets to give to my cool kids that I have someday when I’m a Dad.

Cassie: Well, okay, I guess.

Charlie: Good. Now, can we, like, remove these vests from my closet? They really bother me.

Cassie: Fine. But I’m not sure you’re right about down vests, that they’re not cool.

Charlie: Oh, I’m absolutely right. They are definitely not cool. You can ask anyone.