(Of course I added warm, cozy blankets to the freshly made-up-beds at chez Bollinger this weekend. It’s now hot as blazes…)
Charlie: I’ve never been so hot in my life. Like, I almost died last night while sleeping.
Cassie: You did not!
Charlie: I did!
Cassie: Because of the blanket?
Charlie: Yes. You put that on too soon, cuz, you know, it’s like eighty degrees out.
Cassie: Hmmm. Remember how you begged me to snuggle you tighter because you were so cold last week and then when I put the green blanket on your bed this weekend you were all joyous and grateful?
Cassie: Charlie! Yes you do. We had a whole conversation about it.
Charlie: Well, I changed my mind. Way too hot.
Cassie: Just pull the blanket down to the bottom of the bed at night and use a sheet only…until it gets cold again, which it will, by next week.
Charlie: Can’t you just take the blanket off of my bed?
Cassie: It’s a real pain–
Charlie: –in the ass?
Cassie: Ah…yes. Please don’t tell your father that we had this brief back-and-forth that involved swearing. That really gets him fired up…the swearing.
Charlie: Yes. I know.
Cassie: Anyway, it’s a double sized bed and up against the wall, and I tuck in all the corners, and I break out into a sweat when I have to make up the bed with fresh sheets and put on winter blankets and take off winter blankets.
Charlie: (blank stare)
Cassie: Look, I don’t have to explain it to you. Just do what I said and pull the blanket down out of the way until the nights are cooler again. Sheesh.
Charlie: Is this because you work full-time now and you don’t have a spare moment to be the nurturing mother you once were?
Cassie: Oh my God, Charlie. Now I’m really getting irritated about this stupid blanket conversation.
Charlie: Not supposed to say “stupid.”
Charlie: See ya.
(Charlie-The-Kid leaves his bedroom while his un-nurturing, sweaty mother stands before a disheveled, green-blanketed bed, and pants in frustration.)