Charlie: I got Washington! The teacher PICKED FOR ME. This country’s so boring. I need to move.
Cassie: What are we talking about here?
Charlie: States. The last Social Studies project of the year. The good states got picked.
Cassie: Which are the “good” states?
Charlie: You know…California, New York, New Jersey. I LOVE those states.
Cassie: What about New Hampshire?
Charlie: Someone took it before I even had a chance to assess. Everyone just grabbing at states. It was totally annoying.
Cassie: Can you do DC? Lotta history there.
Charlie: DC’s not a state. Duh, Mom.
Cassie: I know – I just thought an exception could be made.
Charlie: There are no exceptions.
Cassie: Well there’s got to be a state.
Charlie: (hissing) I told you — all the good ones are gone. It’s just the boring ones left.
Cassie: You got Washington?
Charlie: Washington state got picked FOR me.
Cassie: What do I know about Washington?
Charlie: Nothing. It’s just out there, on top of California, the interesting state.
Cassie: What about Idaho?
Charlie: Are you kidding me? (Pause) This is a boring country. Full of boring states. I’m just going to move to France.
Cassie: That’s not really a solution, Charlie.
Charlie: Well I got nothing left. I’m doomed. I hate Washington.
Cassie: I think you need an attitude change.
Charlie: What I need is a passport.
(Oh. My. God.)