Percentages

Chloe knows her average grade to the percentage point in each and every class, as well as her overall percentage and rank for all her classes combined. She knows this every day of her school year life. She never appears stressed about it, but she damn well knows it.

Scott: (to me) Didn’t you? When you were her age?

Cassie: Know my averages…to the percentage point? Umm…no. I knew my overall grades but percentages didn’t really come into it.

Scott: Because you’re weak on percentages?

Cassie: Exactly.

Scott: Yea. So, remind me again how far on the math track you got?

Cassie: (sighing) You already know this.

Scott: Remind me again.

Cassie: To Advanced Algebra II.

Scott: Advanced….hehehe. No Trig?

Cassie: Don’t mock me. That’s right. No Trig. I did Geometry, Algebra I and Algebra II. Then I graduated a year early from high school, jack-ass. You already know these facts about me.

Scott: I forgot.

Cassie: No you didn’t.

Scott: You should have doubled up on math classes your junior year.

Cassie: I had a hard enough time fitting everything in to graduate early and I was dancing all the time…like every day after school. (Pause) I suffered my way through Chemistry. I don’t know how I did it, actually. It’s all a bad blur…

Scott: And in college you didn’t take ANY math?

Cassie: Not one class. I tried Pre-Calc for, like, two days. Dropped that. Totally out of my league. (Pause) I also tried “Physics for Poets.” Also out of my thought realm. Dropped the class in four days. I realized that I wasn’t a physicist for sure and not really much of a poet either. I had to drop out of Economics, much to the horror of Mom’s and Dad’s good friend, the supreme economist who worked at some think tank in DC. I think I had an “F” going in Econ.

Scott: Dear God…

Cassie: I took Advanced Biology and Anatomy and Physiology, though. Aced those classes, but the Genetics portion was a little rough….because of the math…probability and all.

Scott: At least you’re a good writer.

Cassie: Gee, thanks. I clearly remember having this discussion with you. Before we got married…hoping it wasn’t going to be a game changer…this math idiot falling in love with a guy who read Calculus books at bars. (Pause) What a way to pick up girls. I mean, really.

Scott: Be quiet.

Cassie: No seriously. That’s just so weird.

Scott: So anyway….this pre-high school meeting with Chloe…the thing we went to tonight while you were off doing YOUR thing at your client cocktail party….she’s all worked up about her schedule and classes and GPA and stuff.

Cassie: We’ll figure it out. One step at a time.

Scott: That kid. She’s going to go all the way, you know?

Cassie: I know. She’s amazing. To think, we created that person.

Scott: Freakin’ luck!

Cassie: One in one thousandth chance…to get the “brilliant” gene.

Scott: Umm…I love you, but if we’ve learned anything from this little talk, don’t try to talk percentages. Like rap music. Don’t talk about it. Ever.

Cassie: Yea. Max tells me the same thing.

Scott: See?

Cassie: Okay. Righto.

Scott: (sighing) Yea. Righto.

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