Cassie: Here. Sign this one. It’s the one from the kids…and the dogs.

Max: These cards are all about poop.

Cassie: I know! Isn’t it hilarious?!

Max: (referencing the poop punch line on the card before him) Picking up dog poop and doggie bags of poop…that’s not funny. Besides you make ME do a lot of the poop pick-up. It’s not just Dad.

Cassie: Someday, when you’re a father you can get poop cards too. You’ll get proper credit for all the poop. Just sign the damn card.

Max: (huge eye roll) This family has really got some issues. Like you have “Poop OCD” or something. How many times do you say “poop” each day? Huh?

Cassie: I can’t help it. I’m surrounded by it. Dog poop galore every day, bathroom breaks with the four-year-old every day with lots of wiping, dirty underwear that has to be laundered every day. Why just the other day, there was a big pile of bird poop on the mailbox when I went to get the mail.

Max: (shaking head) You told me all about it.

Cassie: Guarantee that some day you’ll remember this little moment, like when you’re opening a Father’s Day card and it’s a humorous one…all about a kid’s poopy diaper… and you’ll think back on this talk we’ve had….and me…and it will warm the cockles of your poopy heart.

Max: (blinking rapidly) Oh. My. God.