He’s On a Roll

Today, older brother Max, who got out of school early because of final exams, was in the car when we picked up Charlie from school. Charlie wasn’t in the car thirty seconds when it started….

Charlie:(analyzing the back of his brother’s neck in the air space between the top of the front passenger seat and the head rest) Does it bother you that your neck is so extremely hairy?

Max: (swiping at the back of his neck as if to swat an annoying fly) What?! I need a haircut.

Charlie: That’s a lot of hair growth. You probably wouldn’t notice it much since it’s behind you and all. I’m here to tell you it doesn’t look good.

Max: Who asked ya?

Charlie: It’s RIGHT in my line of vision. The hair bristles are poking out all over the place. Like an overgrown lawn, really with lotsa weeds.

Genevieve: Mom, why is his neck so hairy? Why is it like a lawn? With weeds?

Max: What the—

Cassie: Alright! Enough about the hairy neck, people!

Max: (slams the head rest down so the air space is gone and Charlie can no longer see his neck) I NEED A HAIRCUT!

Cassie: I got it! Good God! Everyone be quiet now.


Next, we pick Chloe up from the middle school…

Max: Oh. My. God. We have to pick her up too? Why can’t she walk?

Cassie: Her back pack is too heavy. She has too much stuff to carry all that way.

Max: How do you do this day in and day out?

Cassie: It can be tedious. Especially when you won’t let me play my “Vampire Weekend.”

Max: Pffft. My mind is so numb…with utter boredom.

Cassie: Yep. (Pause) You could get out and walk home.

Max: Nah.

Chloe sees our car, walks over, gets into the back seat area because she’s quickly noticed that Max is occupying the front passenger seat, her usual spot.

Cassie: How was your day?

Chloe: Fine.

Some silence as we make our way out of the pick-up frenzy of cars.

Genevieve: What’s that smell?

Charlie: Chloe’s butt.

(Gets a huge laugh from Max who’s trying to forget about neck hairs)

Chloe: Moommmm!

Cassie: Enough, Charlie! Button it! Do you hear me?!

Charlie repeats my words with exactly the same cadence, volume, inflection –it sounds just like me and thus I can’t help myself and I burst out laughing. Soon, everyone in the car is laughing and well, there we have a few more Charlie The Kid moments to add to our Charlie-filled lives.

Happy Monday-After-School to you!

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