Daffy: Where were you?! Where were you?! Where were you?!
Simone: Pipe down, pipsqueak. I was at the vet’s.
Daffy: Yea? Yea? Yea? Was it fun? Did you get any of those carrot-veggie treats or the ones with chicken?
Simone. They wouldn’t give me any treats ‘cuz I kept horking.
Daffy: Oh, no! You did the horky thing?
Simone: Yes. Also, I peed on the floor. A little got on the technician’s shoe.
Daffy: Were you sooo embarrassed?
Simone: No, I wasn’t sooo embarrassed. Who cared about the pee? No one cared about the pee. I couldn’t breathe. Like. At. All.
Daffy: What else happened? Huh? Huh?
Simone: They stuck a thing in my butt, which was very annoying. Also, the doctor stuck his finger down my throat and I got a shot in my shoulder. It kinda hurts and itches at the same time.
Daffy: That sounds awful. I hate that place. The smell of those examination rooms alone. I get very nervous in there. Don’t you?! When I’m in the examination room, I just can’t stop moving.
Simone: Yea. I’m sure. (Pause) I wasn’t really worried about how the room smelled. I’m an adult dog, not a hyper, nervous pipsqueak puppy. Also, I was too occupied with trying to get oxygen into my lungs.
Daffy: Did they ask about me? Did they ask how the cute terrier mutt, Daffodil, was doing?
Simone: No. Your name didn’t come up. It was all about me.
Simone: It was an emergency situation, you pipsqueak. The human Mom was all worked up, going on and on about the two toy pieces that YOU chewed up yesterday. She figured I had eaten one of the toys and a piece was lodged in my throat. As if I’m going to bother with one of the human brother’s or sister’s toys. Sheesh…. That’s why the doc stuck his finger down my throat… to check for one of YOUR stupid chewed up works of art.
Daffy: Sorry. So what’s wrong with you anyway?
Simone: I got a lot of phlegm in my lungs. I gotta take medicine and chill out.
Daffy: You always chill out. The doctor told you to take MORE naps?!!!
Simone: Yep. And you’re not to bother me. At. All.
Daffy: Really? They didn’t say that, did they?!
Simone: Yep. They. Did.
Daffy: Huh. They always say how cute I am when I go there. Even though I get a little nervous. And they give me lots of pets and doggie treats. I think they really like me. Yea. I’m pretty sure they think I’m one of the cutest ones.
Simone: Yeah, well, the doctor said I was ADORABLE. ADORABLE! And the doctor also gave me a very loving rub under the chin. I didn’t get any treats this time, but that’s only because my life was in grave danger. They wanted to give me treats but, you know, I coulda died.
Daffy: Well, I’m glad you’re back. I missed you. I was worried about you. I get a little bored when you’re not here.
Simone: I’m glad I’m back too. Now leave me alone so I can take a nap.
Daffy: Could I just chew on your legs for a bit? You know how I like to.
Simone: Okay. But only for a minute or two. I really need my rest.