I’m not too ashamed to admit that I might have a little “Mad Men fever” going right now. (Two hour season premiere is tonight!) I’m really hoping they won’t bother with the requisite drunken barf scene during the premiere this evening, though. (There’s one in every season.) That could spoil it for me. Ya know?

Scott: Can you just be tough and watch the puke scene if there is one?

Cassie: No. Why do they always have to do that? The barf…

Scott: Those moments are usually quite integral to the plot line.

Cassie: No, they’re not!

Scott: Yes, they are.

Cassie: Nope. Puke is never integral to anything.

Scott: (sighing) How old are you anyway?

Cassie: Old enough to know that throw-up doesn’t make for better viewing and the audience’s understanding of the themes of the show.

Scott: Except for that one time in “Sopranos.” Remember? When the girlfriend, I forget her name now, was going to be convicted and she knew she was done for and she puked all over the table in the interrogation room.

Cassie: Yea. That one really caught me off guard. Sadly there wasn’t time to cover my eyes and I saw the whole thing. It was so vivid and they showed the mess on the table and I could almost smell it. So realistic. So gross.

Scott: Yes, it was. It was also very integral to the story because you saw that she recognized just how screwed she was.

Cassie: I suppose. There was a lot of vomiting in the “Sopranos.” In the end, that show really started to get on my nerves. All the violence and vomiting.

Scott: (more sighing and maybe a little huff and puff) I’m starting to get worked up just talking about this….dealing with your barf phobia in anticipation of our special television time.

Cassie: (silence)

Scott: In fact, you’re almost ruining the show for me right now and it’s still ten hours away. I’m sending the kids to bed early. We were just going to enjoy our show together. It was going to be special. Don’t ruin it.

Cassie: Sorry.

Scott: Do you think you can just deal with it? Can you just deal with the puke….for me?

Cassie: I’ll try. (Pause) But I think I should also warn you, that I really won’t be able to handle it if there’s another suicide by hanging during Mad Men tonight….or another scene where a foot gets cut off by a tractor lawn mower blade in the middle of the ad agency. That won’t be good for me. They wouldn’t do that again. Right?

Scott: Be. Quiet. Now.

Cassie: (sighing) Okay.