Bladder Control

DogswaitingfortreatScott (aka THE FATHER): Damn it! You pissed on the floor! Why can’t you control your bladder? Come on.

(Scott hustles the terrier mutt puppy out the kitchen door, muttering all the while. He’s still muttering at her when he returns.)

Scott: I can’t believe you did that, Daffodil.  Just when I thought you were making progress.

(Scott cleans up the puddle and continues to tell the puppy how disappointed he is. Then he leaves to go upstairs about some kid issue. Simone enters the kitchen and sniffs at where the puddle of urine once was.  She looks over at the puppy who is now sulking on her red bed pillow in the corner.)

Simone: (That was dumb, puppy. Real dumb.)

Daffodil: (I know. I got excited. And no one was looking.)

Simone: (THE MOTHER just washed the kitchen floor. THE FATHER gets his shorts in a tight wad whenever dogs pee in the house. Now he’ll be mad. Doubt there will be any snuggling for us tonight. Thanks a lot.)

Daffodil: (Sorry. Maybe if you stayed in the kitchen more often and kept me company in here, I wouldn’t get so worked up, always straining to see where you’re at.  When I get worked up, I lose control.)

Simone: (I don’t hang with puppies. Ever. Especially pesky annoying ones like you…always biting my jowls and hind legs.)

Daffodil: (I just wanna be near you. I wanna play!)

Simone: (I don’t play. I chill. And I ain’t ever gonna chill in this area of the house until YOU are housebroken, rug rat. Better start workin’ on the bladder control if you know what’s good for you.)

Cassie (aka THE MOTHER): There you are Simone. I was looking for you. Are you visiting with Daffodil?! Come here, Daffodil, you sweet thing!

(Daffodil jumps into THE MOTHER’s arms and THE MOTHER kisses the puppy’s head and scratches her ears. Simone turns to walk out of the kitchen.  Daffodil begins to squirm and pant in THE MOTHER’S arms.)

Daffodil: (Where ya goin, bull dog? Where ya goin?)

Simone: (To the living room…to barf.)

Daffodil: (They don’t like that either….the barfing.)

Simone: (I know that, you idiot pipsqueak, but I can’t help myself.)

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