Charlie: Mom, is there any chance I’ll get armpit hair BEFORE puberty?

Cassie: No. Why do you ask?

Charlie: Just wondering because that would be good timing if I started growing hair under the arms now, before Halloween. I want to look really hairy for the Werewolf costume I’m planning.

Cassie: I don’t think you’re going to grow underarm hair any time soon. Do you have questions about puberty?

Charlie: No, no, no. It was just about armpit hair. Gawwd! I have another plan…to get the werewolf look.

Cassie: What’s that?

Charlie: I’m going to cut up one of my costume wigs and tape the pretend hair to my armpits.

Cassie: First of all, someone will have to cut the wig for you because you’ve been banned from scissors. Remember? Ever since the t-shirt shredding and giving Gigi that lopsided haircut?

Charlie: I shredded those shirts for this werewolf costume. That was the whole point of the shredding! Werewolves always wear shirts that have been ripped by their huge claws. You still haven’t forgiven me for Gigi’s haircut? Her hair grew back.

Cassie: No. Second, I think your armpits will be too sweaty. I don’t think taping the hair to your skin is going to work.

Charlie: Too sweaty? My armpits are too sweaty? Maybe I AM getting puberty. Mom, we’d better go buy some underarm deodorant today so I won’t have BBO.

Cassie: You mean BO?

Charlie: No BBO, for Bad Body Odor.

(Oy vey.)